Reflections on a Funeral

There has been a much longer gap between new postings than usual, and there has been a good reason for it. An event has taken place on which I have needed to reflect and digest.

Some one I knew very well forty years ago, and then have seen very little of for the last thirty years, died a few week ago. I sat at her bedside in the hospice and held her hand just days before she died of cancer, and we exchanged words in private that were deeply signficant to both of us.

At her funeral something strange happened. There was a tribute to her life which made no reference to any events in the ten years I knew her. It painted a somewhat unreal picture of the reality of her life.

The funeral was very Christian in intention, pointing out the certainty we could all have of her now enjoying all the blessings of heaven. Now I am very familiar with the precept de mortuis nil nisi bonum (concerning the dead, nothing but good), but what does our translation to heaven mean?

What does forgiveness mean in the context of eternity?

Let me pose a hypthetical case. What happens to a murderer who receives forgiveness? Does it mean that through all eternity that act of murder will be treated as if it never existed?

I think the answer has to be no. There will be a victim who knows otherwise. No, what forgiveness means for the murderer is that he will be rejoicing in his forgiveness throughout eternity. He will be, as a forgiven murderer, a testament to the grace of God, a living example of how God's love can transform us deeply flawed humans into truly glorious beings. He will be for ever a forgiven murderer. And he will be meeting (and rejoicing with) forgiven adulterers, forgiven thieves, forgiven liars, and forgiven coveters (just to use the list given in the Ten Commandments).

At my own funeral I would prefer people to remember me in as realistic a way as possible. I do not want all the (rather few) good points of my life paraded, and the rest ignored as if it never were. Rather let people rejoice that John, whose faults were all too obvious, has gone to the place where those faults will be forgiven faults, and he will be transformed into the being God wants him to be. John will be for ever a forgiven ... (but perhaps better not fill in the gaps just yet, as my life is not yet over).

So here is a very short meditation, but as challenging to write as any I have written, and I venture perhaps as challenging to read.