The age we live in is beginning to recognise how diverse sexual urges are, and accepting that human sexuality is more complex than has hitherto been understood.
We know things about ourselves that have to do with our 'urges' that nobody else knows, not even our nearest and dearest. Some of us may suspect that this hiddenness is not just true of us, but of every member of the human race.
Let us first establish what sex is for, and to do this we must look at one of the most neglected books, Genesis, the book of origins.
Nowadays there is a tendency to set up an Aunt Sally, to proclaim the Creation story of Genesis as disproved by science, and to dismiss it from all consideration.
This is such a shame, because its insights are unique, and desperately needed. If we do live in a universe in which biological life is just a chance rearrangement of chemicals, and there has never been anything other that a zillion other random events before now, and we are all going to a total extinction, with no purpose other than pleasure, then let us indeed eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.
If you believe this is the sum of life, I cannot address you meaningfully. But if you think in your heart of hearts that what you know about humanity means that this materialist view does not explain everything, especially not your emotions, your perception of beauty, your sense of duty, and the strongest possible desires which seem to have no logic, you are at least asking the right questions.
The book of Genesis is trying to answer these questions. It is a sequence of books within a book. It is easy to spot this once you cotton on to the fact that the title of each mini-book comes at the end of it, not the beginning. We put titles at the beginning because we bind pages into a book. But when you have a scroll, pages stuck edge to edge in a continuous roll, the smart place to put the title is at the end, where you will see it first if you unroll an already read scroll.
All the titles in Genesis are in the form 'These are the generations of ...' to use the old-fashioned translation we are most used to. It comes out as 'This is the account of ...' in the more modern translation I am using here.
The first account is of 'the heavens and the earth', the second is of 'Adam's line', the third of Noah, and so on. The original Hebrew never had chapters and verses, for these were added in the middle ages to the then Latin translation. So the accounts actually end in the middle of a verse. But I am presenting the first two accounts without chapter and verse indications, so that their natural ending is clearer.
This is why there are overlaps. Adam's story mentions the birth of Seth, and then so does Noah's (Gen 4:25 and Gen 5:3-4), which also has the general statement that Adam had other sons and daughters not mentioned by name. It is as if each account was originally meant to be read on its own, and so key elements of the previous account are mentioned briefly at the beginning of the next. The first account can only have been given by revelation, but the later accounts may well have been family archives, oral or written we will never know.
The first account of origins is not a sequential, step by step, account, but a thematic story with the threefold cycle of light, then liquids and gases, finally solids, repeated. First without detail, then with more detail. The first and fourth segments deal with light as a force, and the sources of light. The second and fifth segments deal with the atmosphere and the oceans as entities, then their occupants. The third and sixth segments deal with solid earth, and then its occupants.
The word used for 'day' can mean any sort of division of time. The Greek word for story is 'myth'. Two pieces of etymology not to be overlooked.
With these introductory comments in mind, please now read the first account of our origins.
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning--the first day.
And God said, "Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water." So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it. And it was so. God called the expanse "sky." And there was evening, and there was morning--the second day.
And God said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so. God called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters he called "seas." And God saw that it was good. Then God said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds." And it was so. The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening, and there was morning--the third day.
And God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years, and let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth." And it was so. God made two great lights--the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. God set them in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth, to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening, and there was morning--the fourth day.
And God said, "Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky." So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth." And there was evening, and there was morning--the fifth day.
And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so. God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground--everything that has the breath of life in it--I give every green plant for food." And it was so. God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning--the sixth day.
Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array. By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created.
If the amount of detail given is any guide to the purpose of this story of origins, then the creation of humans is the climax and focus of the story, occupying about one fifth of the whole story. For this act of creation alone are ascribed purposes, duties, and promises.
The environmentalists are right. The most fundamental duty of the human race is defined here, as custodians of this planet and all that lives on it.
The planet is described as a unified design, with some living elements intended as the means of support for others. Each species is meant to interlock with the other species. The focus on design cannot be ignored, nor the verdict that everything made fitted into the plan (for what else can 'good' mean in this context?). And the method of reproduction is defined: seeds, reproducing 'according to their kinds'.
But in defining humans, the words 'let us make man in our image, in our likeness ... so God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them' are so emphatic. We are like God, we share His character, we are male and female.
We are not white and black, tall and short, strong and weak, fat and thin. We are male and female. This is the key piece of distinctiveness built into humanity. This is the big differentiator.
But both male and female are like God. God is both Father and Mother to us, whatever the linguistic habits are in various languages.
And because this is such a key concept the second story of origins focuses on the need of the man to have a 'suitable helper'.
When the LORD God made the earth and the heavens -- and no shrub of the field had yet appeared on the earth and no plant of the field had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no man to work the ground, but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground -- the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. And the LORD God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground--trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
A river watering the garden flowed from Eden; from there it was separated into four headwaters. The name of the first is the Pishon; it winds through the entire land of Havilah, where there is gold. (The gold of that land is good; aromatic resin and onyx are also there.) The name of the second river is the Gihon; it winds through the entire land of Cush. The name of the third river is the Tigris; it runs along the east side of Asshur. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.
The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called `woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, `You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?"
The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, `You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.'"
"You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"
He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."
And he said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"
The man said, "The woman you put here with me--she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."
Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."
So the LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this, "Cursed are you above all the livestock and all the wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life. And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel."
To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."
To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, `You must not eat of it,' "Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return."
Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.
The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.
And the LORD God said, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever." So the LORD God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.
Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. ... Later she gave birth to his brother Abel. ...
Adam lay with his wife again, and she gave birth to a son and named him Seth...
This is a written account of Adam's line.
If you want a key verse from this account, it must be: 'for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.'
Our sexuality as humans is the most important feature of our lives. The first commandment addressed to humans in the Bible is: 'Be fruitful and increase in number'. This is the urge that defines us, the urge to beget, the urge to conceive.
Before the first disobedience 'the man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame'.
After the first disobedience, 'then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realised they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves'.
Even knowing they were naked was the indicator of that disobedience: 'who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree I commanded you not to eat from?'
What conclusions can we draw from this story? Many, no doubt, that there is no space for here. But this conclusion is safe: if there is any truth in this story, our sexuality is a hugely powerful force within us, by intention of our designer, and that departing from that design will cause us grief.
The western world, inasmuch as it is trying to deny the distinctiveness of male and female, and is trying to take away marriage and the family as the bedrock of society, is denying the very foundations of the human race's place in the designer's plan.
Individually we are responsible for the way we respond to this trend. Do we follow fashion, or challenge it?
Most of our desires are very logical and rational. Often they are simply a response to what our bodies need, in terms of food, water, and warmth. Our emotional needs of security, freedom from fear, the good opinion of others, explain a great many more. But there are two areas of desire that are less easy to understand: the craving that drug addiction brings, and the urges for sexual fulfilment.
I have nothing to say about the craving drug addicts suffer from. I smoked as a youth (in the 1950s when little was publicly known of the dangers) and gave up permanently at the age of 21. So that sort of craving is a distant memory now. I have no idea what other drug cravings might be like, and no intention of finding out.
But like every other human (I suppose) I know what sort of urges there are in my body, and what triggers them. I know why people will do things (especially if they believe they are unobserved) that they later feel a great degree of shame about.
And if any one is curious to know, one's urges do not seem to diminish with age in one's sixties, and if you wait ten years I will answer for the seventies too, if I am spared that long.
In the animal kingdom the sexual urges observable all seem to focus on a single objective: procreation. The male copulates with the female when the female is in her short period of fertility, and only then. This is true whether the fertilisation of the eggs is internal or external, whether penetration is required or not. Whatever urges they have built into them, the procreative urge is a tremendously powerful force.
With humans everything is much more complicated, not least because we seem to adopt the view that sex is mainly for pleasure, and pregnancy something akin to a disease. The Internet itself has more commercial activity associated with satisfying the 'sex for pleasure' urge than any other single commercial sector. It is streets ahead of Internet share trading (the desire for wealth?), which comes a very poor second.
All this would be a little easier to understand if it was always pointing in the direction of finding a desirable mate for the ultimate purpose of procreation. We are more complex than the animal kingdom in a host of other ways besides how we experience sexual urges.
But what can one say about sexual urges that deviate from this obvious goal of the begetting and conceiving of babies? What word even dare one use? Is 'deviate' acceptable? (It comes from Latin words meaning straying from the path) Dare I call attractions which cannot possible lead to procreation deviations? This may sound judgmental, arrogant, and certainly would be condemned by the proponents of political correctness.
Here the human race seems unique in all creation, that men and women seek to respond to urges that cannot possibly be explained by any fundamental instinct to procreate. Where do these urges come from?
The Bible mentions the two most obvious ones in Leviticus (of at least three thousand years ago), so there is nothing recent about this. The passage begins with the condemnation of incestual relationships, and we know there are good medical reasons for following these moral imperatives. And then other forbidden territory is defined:
No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD.
Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her.
Do not have sexual relations with your father's wife; that would dishonor your father.
Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father's daughter or your mother's daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere.
Do not have sexual relations with your son's daughter or your daughter's daughter; that would dishonor you.
Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father's wife, born to your father; she is your sister.
Do not have sexual relations with your father's sister; she is your father's close relative.
Do not have sexual relations with your mother's sister, because she is your mother's close relative.
Do not dishonor your father's brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt.
Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son's wife; do not have relations with her.
Do not have sexual relations with your brother's wife; that would dishonor your brother.
Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son's daughter or her daughter's daughter; they are her close relatives. That is wickedness.
Do not take your wife's sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living.
Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.
Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor's wife and defile yourself with her.
Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molech, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the LORD.
Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.
Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.
Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. [Leviticus 18]
It should be interesting to measure your own reactions on reading this. You might be distracted by the reference to sexual activity during menstruation, and wonder who Moloch was (the god of a neighbouring tribe, actually), but I suggest you set aside those thoughts. The condemnation of homosexuality and bestiality is even clearer in the next but one chapter, if you are in any doubt.
It seems that God is perfectly aware the we humans can get it all wrong, and misdirect our sexual energies. In the nation he chose to be a living example of his design for humans, God wanted total purity, and set drastic sanctions. Leave aside the sanctions, for no one advocates them for today. But can we ignore the standards? Can we find true happiness in a path away from the designer's intentions?
But there can be deep friendships between two men, and two women, and these friendships can take on an importance in the lives of those involved as significant as any other bond between two humans.
When we read the words that King David spoke at the death of Jonathan, eldest son of King Saul, at the hands of the Philistines, once again the Bible becomes a reference point on a difficult topic:
How the mighty have fallen in battle!
Jonathan lies slain on your heights.
I grieve for you, Jonathan, my brother;
You were very dear to me.
Your love for me was wonderful,
More wonderful than that of women.
How the might have fallen!
The weapons of war have perished!
Each of us finds attraction in our own individual way. The only safe rule is that we treat sexual urges as an opportunity to give, rather than take. Those who exploit others, whether naturally or unnaturally, are dehumanising themselves, and cutting themselves off from any hope of real happiness.
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